The War Within

The intensity of emotions

Is a strong man.

Left unguarded,

He binds us immobile.

He drags us to plains of conflict,

Where logic meets lunacy.

Through swallowing hallows,

Where conviction gasps for sanity.

He leads us to pits of silver,

And dungeons of gold,

Of conniving comfort,

Of brooding blasphemy.

Resist him!

And though you lose a battle,

You have not lost the war.

What Have I Done?

I learned to believe

Were the words that defined

My race to eternity.

But oh, how wrong!

For along the way I soon realized

The words which, my heart truly

Burned and steered were

“What have I done…”

Will It Find You

It’s an odd feeling to have the good within being somewhat deliberately suppressed by unwitting evil. Those internal struggles between mind and heart, the constant bouts between conviction and compromise. What drives these battles, what is the underlying root? Oh, how we cannot afford to be careless with our deepest intentions…

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This mind runs, races

Never sleeps.

Within me, its kingdom built

And therein dwell without mercy.

By drive of abstinence

By guile of diversion.

By reason of force

All fails, none prevails.

What more may one do

What card has one left?

When one has found the Answer,

But It doesn’t find him?

- AfterTim-

“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do”. ­ - Romans 7:15

Ageing In The Mirror

I look at how quickly time is catching up, that someday the curtains will close on me. Yet I’m taken aback to think that this “end”, in fact, has no ending. Startling, yet so comforting. Failing in the past, struggling with the present, yet Eternity for a future. An Eternity that must be shared.
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I saw myself

Ageing in the mirror

But oh my eyes, they did not lie

Of that I was bestowed

That.. of endless time.

And God forbid

I withhold Its shine!

For all, in lofty eyes, precious

Yet nimble as these wrinkling appendages.

But oh! That which wrinkles, withers

Take it, I do not care.

Withal, I will do, I will dare.

For Death will, in my eyes stare

But my regret, my conscience…

He will never bear.

-AfterTim-

So I Wait

Its baffling what a feeling of hopelessness can drive a man to do. If you ever found yourself dead lost in the middle of an obscure jungle, you won’t naturally sit under a tree, be calm, and think about where best to start your fire. You will press forward, pummel forcefully through leaves and branches. Your heart will pound desperately as you surge and lunge for familiarity. You will want to be found, you will expect to find direction. In those frantic moments, the thought of remaining calm and patient rarely dawns. Yet, ironically so, it is usually in those moments of solitude and waiting that we eventually figure our way. I suppose the only question which remains is, how long these moments take…

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So I wait.

Whilst expectations and fabrications correlate

To implicate

The very forces that lifted me,

Beyond the reach of belittling fate.

But there lay a path straight

To amicable acceptance

Regardless of my state.

And though time, His and ours, nay a replicate

Never will He be late.

So I wait.

Shall

Walking towards a lunch favourite is always a humbling experience, as the journey entails walking pass the floor space of a man who calls it home. Boxes, blankets, rags, dirty clothes, and that little metal canister in his possession, he sleeps in seemingly peaceful slumber. But oh, the content of his heart, one must wonder. Shall we turn aside, shall we walk away…

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Shall spring dawn

And autumn thereafter,

Without blooming their colours?

Shall the sun shine,

And rain fall,

Without embracing its nature?

Shall one cry

And another despair,

To live on without a prayer?

Shall he in need

And she who bleeds,

Go down without a deed?

Shall one hunger

And one long,

To find not?

Oh, shall we turn aside,

Shall we walk away.

The Key

Speaking with him about anything and everything over some coke and ice cream stirred dormant feelings within. At times a patriotic rage, yet other moments, simply feeble defeat. I snarl at they who choose the path of deliberate ignorance, only to realize, the key never truly lay with them, but to him who holds the Keys to the Kingdom.

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Beneath coats of crookedness and contempt,

Lay fragments of flinching freedom.

Unable to express,

Unable to redress.

Raging, roaring, relenting,

In bonds, by Him, only broken.

Power to bind, power to loose

Power to agree Heaven and earth

Power to breathe belief into thrust

In he who holds the keys of the Kingdom.

“ And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of Heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven”.

- Matthew 16:19

Ready

We will never be ready enough

And we will never be more ready

Than we already are.


"Wherever you are - be all there". -Jim Elliot

But To Proclaim

Having everything, yet nothing.

Simply gazing along the streets is a pondering pleasure. Commanding colours bustling with character, decorations intricate in their ensemble, intentions clear and deliberate. Lights arrayed in longing lingerings; gleaming under the sun, glancing under the moon.

The stage is set. But there seems to be no play.

The lights emanate without embrace.

The songs sing without spirit.

The city dreams without hope.

They have everything, yet nothing.

I think about him, whom I first met in the bus; hurling fabricate perceptions and presumptions, sparing him with naught… He, of whom, I will never meet ever again, in this lifetime.

I reel in the truth. I stagger in The Truth.

How many more shall wander, before we ponder.

Forgive us, remind us,

‘Tis not to entertain

…but to proclaim.

-AfterTim-

Early Dawning Of The Season

Am reminded of a time where I was sitting at the cafeteria, where a 3-piece jazz band was merrily belting out Christmas tunes, way before the season arrived. And I remember how the tunes continued to linger in the shadows and under the full moon, as I trotted back to my dorm through the walkways and subways. That moment brought stark realizations on the significance that this season truly brings – nothing less than a hope for all hearts. A hope one must realize.

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Early dawning of The Season,

Close knit, yet far sighted.

That jazz trip and song in the shadows,

Lobbying One Hope, and One Light.

A watchful gaze, piercing darkness,

The eye of the night, mesmerizing in fullness.

The sweep of The Spirit,

Soaking, saturating…sequestering silence.

Staring in stark realization,

A clouded conscience, childish chagrin.

The train of temperament, eluding its own path,

And unto its own.

Woeful remorse, within hapless emptiness

I shudder.

For if Thou hasten Thy Hand,

Will I be ready for Heaven.

-AfterTim-

In Higher Hands

We look around, and we feel small. We see that man with a seemingly flawless business, that lady with the mad piano skills, that dreamer who lives his dream, and we can’t help but feel small. Yet, He holds us in ways higher, ways unfathomable. Ways worth trusting.

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Peering within, in light of others,

Nothing but small, bitter, inferior.

Our gifts, nay others a better,

Nevertheless, ordained by thy Maker.

Our Father, in His wisdom and splendour,

Rendereth some stronger, some truly weaker.

Injustice, fear, fill our hearts, a ponder,

But you; O you, held in hands a higher.

Gideon weak, David small, Paul a persecutor,

Peter faltered, Thomas doubted, and Judas Iscariot a traitor.

Joseph young, Rahab a harlot, Moses was a stutterer.

For goodness sake, Lazarus was dead a prior!

Yet, in weakness, God entered the picture,

To fulfilleth His purpose; divine and mightier.

Likewise, in our frailties, though we doubt and anger,

But you; O you, held in hands a higher.


-AfterTim-

Procrastination

Procrastination…

The dread of the dreamer,

The friend of the fraud,

The counsel of compromise.

Procrastination…

The subtle suppressor.

“How soon “not now” become never..”  – Martin Luther King Jr.

'Twas An Odd Day

I stood in the elevator,

Of twelve people strong.

Six men and six ladies,

Yet I stood above them all.

‘Twas an odd day. 

To Know What Lasts

I marvel (in despair) at how we seem so governed by technology, at how it has infiltrated our lives and defined society so indifferently. I recall a time where the electricity tripped in our laboratory, rendering the LAN useless, and how everyone frantically froze, as if their world had crumbled before them. I smiled, (borderline) snickered, sat back and continued reading my good ‘ol paperback. Are we going to allow ourselves to be swallowed deeper and deeper into modern obscurity and forget the values of old which we, as mankind, could once take pride in?

Oh, lead us not into the path, that does not lead to You.

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A blip in the board

A flip in the system

Faces froze

As if time had halted.

Many agitated, many clueless

Frantic; gasping helpless

But clocks still ticked, time still ran

Yet life, had stopped living?

Ludicrous

Such vulnerability

The governor

Governed by the governee

A momentary lapse

And all things crash?

Oh grant us wisdom

To know what lasts.

- AfterTim-

For One To Become

What does it take

For one to become.

Just one mind, one soul,

And one heart that says “I can”.


"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it". -Winston Churchill

You Disgraceful Front

How long will we allow corruption and foolishness to govern us? Shall we continue to hide in our little shells and allow them to satisfy their insatiable greed? They bloat themselves with what they do not earn, and starve us of rights and parity. Clear as day, yet dark as night. When will we shine our light...

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Jester of jesters

Clown of clowns

You ridicule us all

With your insolent vows

Layer upon layer

Your face turns thicker

With conniving greed

And shameless deeds.

You take what is not yours

You fake all open doors

All in the name of self veneration

Oh, so filthy your ways, you arrogant nation!

You hold no divine right

Do you take us for fools?

You disgraceful Front

Justice you will one day confront.

- AfterTim-

The Fool

I got the fool knocked into me today

But to my dismay, it felt familiar. 

Life Before The Screen

My heart sinks (and stirs existing strife) on every occasion that I witness different members of families staring into their respective "screens" whilst having a meal together; even the little child. Sitting together, yet miles apart. Shame. And I wonder...


O, life before the screen

Will you desert us completely?

Fade not into our memory

For we need you more than dearly


O, life before the screen

Where letters were stroked to life

Where games were played outside

Where friendships were built with the eyes.


O, where families spoke at every meal

Where children pranced in the greens of fields

Where spines of books were crimpled and creased.


O, where birds tweeted,

Where cookies were eaten,

Where the apple in A was an apple indeed.


O, life before the screen,

Will you desert us completely..


-AfterTim-

My First Poetry Guest Post

Hello!


Just dropping by to inform you that I have a post featured on a blog entitled "Writing Truth" by Diana Harkness, a place where she writes only the truth from her heart on various topics and life experiences. 


Do check out my post here, and do visit her site (linked on my sidebar) from time to time for some comprehensive reviews of her readings and inspiring outlooks on life.


Its been a pleasure and joy for me to have this privilege of guest posting on "Writing Truth". Hope you guys enjoy the read, and looking forward to hearing from you more!


-AfterTim-

Losing The Way

Walking the straight path,

Tracks aligned, perfect symmetry.

Lifeless, soulless,

Limping in reality.


An empty canister,

In the heart of a gale;

Swayed by every nudge, 

Trashed by every gush.

That cunning confidence,

Deceiving blissfully. 

That senseless fool,

Believing indefinitely. 

Step by step

The soul disconnects.

This hollow frame,

Dissolving, decaying…losing the way. 

-AfterTim-